Life as it is

I really want to get married. Is that a bad thing? I don't think so. But, who knows? Honestly, I am trying to be patient, but I don't know if this is patience or just pessimistic resignation to the way things are. Have I stopped trusting that God will do what His will determines? Am I merely pretending to trust while I sit here whispering to myself - "Just get used to being single, you'll never get married"?

I think maybe I am. How do I go back to trusting you, God? How do I leave this pessimistic attitude behind and embrace my life as you have set it before me? How do I wait patiently without giving into that whisper and believe that You have nothing for me?

I know that there is always that possibility that You will call me to be single for the rest of my life. Help me to trust You and know that Your will is perfect and is best for me even if it is not what I desire. If I am indeed meant to be single for the rest of my life, give me a heart that will reflect that. I want to glorify You in all that I do. If I am meant to be single for even a day longer, give me a heart that will glorify You. I have given lip service and have not given You the glory that You deserve.


Change my heart to reflect Your will. I want to want Your will for my life. I want to serve You and glorify You. But, I have forgotten how to. I need Your help for my life.

I believe You, Lord. Help my unbelief.